To be fair, the story became so entertaining around 70%, I could not put the book down.




The suspense alone!



I never wanted this story to end!


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POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW
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Characters:

Sunder - an elf/cat-like alien, a drow, a Commander and Head of Royal Security. As of lately - Dah Heir and Dah Prince, with a bulls eye on his forehead for target shooting. His Mother, The Effing-one, wants him dead... like 30 years ago dead.

Gabe - his human boyfriend, a nurse at a local hospital and a tree hugger.

Ents - nee Trees, local earth vegetation
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Sunder: Let's go for a stroll in a park. I want to show you Nature.

Gabe: Uh... Maybe not?

Sunder (famous last words): I promise, you'll be safe.



Gabe: Uh... OK

Sunder and Gabe (frolicking in the local park): Trees, they whisper to us!

Trees: Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...

Sunder: Oh, a patch of Black Pollution in the dirt! I am going to suck it in and save the Trees!

Sunder *sucks*



Gabe: Oh, no! It's poisoning your soul! You're turning to the Dark Side!



Gabe: Uh... I am going to suck it off! ..out! Whatever.

Gabe *sucks and then pukes it out neatly into a plastic bag*



Trees: Oh, we forgot to tell you. Watch out for Black Pollution. It's poison! Effing-ones did it!

Effing-ones *jumping like fleas all over the place*: Di-i-i-e-e-e!



Sunder *fights back*: DIE, EFFIN-ONES, DIE!!!



Trees: CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!!! Save the Hobbit!

Local authorities *sashaying nowhere close to the hot spot*: La-la-la-la!!



Meantime, in Australia Gabe, *snatched by Ents*: Uh, cool... birds-eye view!



Ents: DIE, ORCS EFFIN-ONES, DIE!!!*



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*There is actually an episode, where "Ents march to war", complete with a local Hobbit, aka Gabe, riding the branches. Talking about LOTR back flashes!